busy bodies, being busybodies
when i think of what it really means to be %%red%%busy%%, i think about perception. for me, being busy is %%purple%%having focus without an exact focal point%%. this describes what it is like, for me, having adhd and dyslexia. everything becomes a blur. this has something to do with the %%yellow%%speed behind anxiety%%, i suppose. i wouldn't describe myself as an anxious person, although it haunts me from time to time. and %%purple%%this is why i have chosen to slow down%%.
of all ridiculous things the most ridiculous seems to me, to be busy – to be someone who is brisk about their food and work.
%%purple%%kierkegaard%%, %%green%%either/or%%
in terms of slowing things down, and not being busy, it isn't necessarily about pace or speed, but about paying attention and being mindful. i am a clumsy person. this is partly do to me being a busybody. but i have noticed that when i slow down and become more attentive, that clumsiness shies away.
i don't want to feel ridiculous. i don't mind being or feeling busy from time to time, entering that blurry flow state ... there is some form of dopamine rush about it, but it does come with a cost that i would prefer not to pay. so this year is the year of mindfulness. %%orange%%less focus without focusing%%, and %%green%%more attention paid to me and my surroundings%%.