forty-four
forty-four, can't wait for more. i had an eventful youth. i didn't think i would make it through my twenties. i nearly didn't, but the universe had other plans for me. nothing special, but it disagreed with my youth-driven nihilism and penchant for self-sabotage.
i wish i could say that my forties have brought me more wisdom, and maybe they have? but the reality is that we live in a time where wisdom is no longer valued. when folk of my class are consistently pushed into survival mode year after year, wisdom is overwhelmingly replaced by the need to reinvent survival strategies due to the ever evolving nature of the forces that continue to divide the classes and isolate us from our communities.
all that noted, my forties have been great. i still have a bit of that youthful angst left in me, a bit of that poetry. with it, i am able to feel useful in my community. i say a lot less, but mean a lot more. i am better able to show my care for the people around me. i have a better vocabulary for care.
while i have a shadowy and unknown future where i will never be able to retire, i will never be able to stop working, i won't have time for illness or pause, i am still happy to be an aging anarchist. in forty-four years, i have lived many lives. i have certainly lived more life than many folk i know ... i can only hope the adventure keeps its appeal and that every year might feel like an eternity of struggle, joy, and celebration. i think those are the three main ingredients to human life. regardless, i intend to add a little more spice each year moving forward!